Stories & Endeavors

Connected Life: What Does it Mean to Lose Someone and the Lessons Learnt

It’s highly improbable for me to rise up in the middle of night and write this. Still, I can’t stop noting this, the story of highly abstract nature and the enigma that perturbed me since December of last year.
This story pose no lies and I try to draw two stories unlikely to come in this same narrative.
I write this with heavy heart about the incident that occurred on 9th of December, 2017 and uncalled event that caught me by surprise today.
The story very unlinked to each other yet it gave me with the same feeling of crossness and helplessness.

A few days back I went to Lumitsawa to stay with my sister until brother in-law return from Phuntsholing. She was very excited to have me there.
We ate the supper together and I began to read book in the room adjacent to her in the evening.
In the morning, to my utter surprise, she was in my room at the corner sound asleep. I wondered why she came to my room in the night.
She explained hearing somebody weeping whole of the night and at first, she said there was several banging everywhere and for a moment she reckoned it was mice scurrying over the place but what followed tested her dauntlessness.
There she said, was ceaseless sobbing and weeping. That’s why she came to my room.
I gave an insignificant notice to her tale because I really thought it was a mouse into its mischief.
Today the day looked gloomier and the sun failed to show up in this place.
With little hope for sunlight, and of course, because of unwilling cold, I decided to go to the terrace just below the house where my sister lives.
With indomitable conviction to finish a memoir or an autobiography, “Dreams from my Father”, by Former President Barack Obama. A beautifully crafted, candid story of self discovery and Obama’s quest for understanding his root and where he is heading.
I started reading without a break until I received an unexpected rice ball from the above. The rice landed on my book, inside my sleeve of the coat and on my head.
Completely bewildered by the uninvited disturbances, I looked up and saw a swarthy man, likely of late 20s or near 30s.
I, in the first place thought the man threw rice ball inadvertently.
And I asked why he threw that to me.
He replied in casual tone, “gachi bay?”
What? I was taken aback.
I told him that he should look around before throwing something and never to repeat such actions. He retorted back saying where I am from and this is his village. And he also added there is no rules saying that he shouldn’t throw rice ball and it was a joke.
For a moment I thought well. The people began to gather.
“Jokes with stranger huh? There is also no rules saying you should throw rice ball to me”, I replied thoughtfully, “Can you do whatever you like in your village? This things are only done by bad people who don’t act prudently and become unapologetic after their uncivilized actions.”
One elderly woman from the crowd spoke up, ” Sorry lab tey wai. Ro gachi bay toah koghob ena.”
The events might sound a trivial matter. But it spoke many things. It conveyed the loss the injustice. It showed the loss of civic sense. For it is left unheeded, this would definitely impact others in bad ways.
How could somebody, unknown a moment ago throw a rice ball and say it’s a joke? For a moment, I imagined how thoughtless and senseless he was.
The matter would not have turned worse if he said it was an accident and he was sorry for that.
I’d have forgiven with a smile.
Seriously, we must be careful with what we do and must have the audacity to apologize after a bad demeanor.
The bad demeanor of his questions his manhood.
It reflects what he learned. And it’s important for us to teach them a good lessons.
In the evening, I realized I somehow succeeded in putting little ounces of sense in him.

I recommenced reading the book until I noticed it was already 5pm. The time run so fast when you are engaged.
The time galloped at its fastest pace. I opened my facebook and chatted for a while and got into my book again.
Until, I was awoken by the the most unimaginable incident. It’s is beyond my words to explain and bring the things into life.
To my wildest reality, the crying began again. I had put off the light in the nights.
I felt so uncomfortable in my own skin. My sister and I was haunted!

It was in beginning of December I visited my sister, brother in-law and my little nephew.
His name is Arjun Mishra. My nephew who was barely eight. I loved him very much. He was so fond of me and I of him.
He was very sweet, very talkative and smartest little child I’ll ever know. I have thought of him as someone, very special, loving and blessed.

Perhaps he is someone none of our kind because he was born in Lord Buddha’s Parinirvana when the sun was surrounded by the rainbows. I could remember this very well.
It was in December 4th when we slept together. He wanted to sleep with me. How glad I was.
The next day, I snapped few photos of him and gave him ngultrum hundred and went home.
He wanted to go home with me but I denied because I thought his mother will feel lonely without him.

Five days later, I got a call and I wanted to tell them it is a lie. A big jest which shouldn’t be shared. Oh!
My nephew had an accident. He was carried to hospital and he is no more.
The tears welled down from my eyes. I have seen death of my nearest family.
I couldn’t stop thinking of him. I’d show his photos to my family. How big he was.
And I was broken. He is never going to comeback.
I thought of him days and night and in the darkest of the nights, I was a night owl thinking of him.
In the dawn of the the morning, I was an early bird thinking of him. In the afternoon, I was an afternoon loon looking back at him and recalling my memories.

I was shaken.
This paved a thoroughfare for me to create a vision, running through my mind. I badly want it to be pragmatic when I grow up. I shared this with one special soul who became best aid for me. I am so grateful for him.

And here today, the unexpected, something unseen, something of a distant galaxies and something not experienced occurred.
His parents did the funeral very well, completed the elaborate 13 days funeral rites in the village. The Lamas were called twice for recitation of scripts for him.
Why would he come back in the dead of the night here?
The dog barked with the very shrill howl surrounding the house I slept tonight. The light was put off.
The little nephew came right in our room and cried.
He came near me and climbed over me.
My sister was so afraid. He pulled her blanket and tried to sleep with her.
He cried and said its very painful for him. That’s what my sister told.
We were awake after midnight. After an endless striking of matchsticks, we lighted incense sticks.
He was gone.
Oh little nephew! We miss you more than anything.
May be he needs more prayers and more ritual.
May he rest in peace. May he have a swift rebirth as a most wonderful human who can help everyone.

My Prayers with him!

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